Parenting is a journey of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, and moments of both wonder and frustration. It can be especially challenging when life throws a curveball and your joy is replaced by worry and stress. Yet, there are ways to find joy in parenting even when it’s hard. In this blog, we’ll explore tips for parenting with joy in the face of difficulty. So, buckle up and get ready to make the journey a little brighter.
Parenting can be hard. or it can be an adventure. We get to choose how we look at any circumstance or situation. Here are a few tips on raising happy children that are kind, responsible adults.
FIRST: WATCH YOUR WORDS
Words are powerful.
Our brains love to keep us comfortable and safe and they are designed to make us right. Pay attention to how you speak to, with, and about your children.
- Change this is “hard” to a “grand adventure” and “sanctification journey”
- Instead of “my kid is impossible” try “I’m learning lots about patience, grace, and agency”
See how different it feels?
Imagine you overheard someone saying “working with [you] is so hard! It’s impossible to get them to do anything!” It doesn’t inspire confidence or make you want to try harder and be better.
- Speak life, joy, and confidence into your kids – the world is hard enough. We need to be their safe space.
- It’s good to ask for help if you are struggling, but be sure you speak with LOVE and focus on solutions, not problems.
Change the Approach – Change the outcome!
I was at a standards night with the youth of my church tonight. The speaker had asked the youth how they wanted their parents to counsel with them. These were their answers (with my insights):
- Give Choices, not demands (agency is key, help them understand the good/bad consequences of their choices and express your trust in them to make wise decisions.)
- Talk on the same level (Listen 70% of the time, talk 30%)
- Be a manager instead of a parent (seeking for their best good and helping them make good choices and develop)
- Share Your Own Experiences – don’t demand spiritual experiences
“A successful parent is one who has loved, one who has sacrificed, and one who has cared for, taught and ministered to the needs of a child.”
Howard W. Hunter
TAKE NOTE: your success as a parent is NOT DEPENDANT ON YOUR CHILD’S CHOICES. It is all about how you chose to show up – to love, to care, to nurture, to teach, to offer.
I’ve talked to many people from all walks of life and it’s always been fascinating to me how varied everyone’s stories are and how each path is so unique and different.
A family of children from the same parents who grew up in the same home have very different memories of the past, different experiences, and different circumstances, and can live paths that seem so entirely opposite of one another.
This is the gift of Agency. God lets us choose. Of course, He hopes we will choose Him. He knows the pain and sorrow we can experience and offers us the gifts of grace and guidance if we choose it.
May we all choose Love. Choose to communicate with our children with love and compassion as we INSPIRE them to be their best.
ONE SIMPLE THING
is all it takes. As you read this article, did anything stick out to you? Did you have a prompting about what you can do/change to bless your child? CHOOSE ONE. Decide to act on it in the next couple days. Block time on your calendar. Keep this appointment. Your relationships are so worth it!
Keep going. Keep growing.
When you know better, do better.
Forgive quickly. Apologize as needed.
This I know for sure…
God is real. Our kids are His kids. He will guide us step by step as we partner with HIM in the joy of becoming and teaching our children.
Day by day, step by step, moment by moment, we can CHOOSE CONNECTION. CHOOSE LOVE. CHOOSE PEACE. … and create the most beautiful and real relationships with our children and families. S
Relationships where EVERYONE IS CELEBRATED for the unique individuals they are. Where gifts are cultivated, faith is shared, love is given freely, communication is honest and everyone feels safe.
This is possible. To me, it’s worth every effort and one that I will not back down on. I continue to show up in love, grace, and to lead by example.
Decide the vision of what you desire to experience in your relationships. Hold to that and act from that place of love.
Have a glorious day!
Livia 🙂
